1 . “Not Tonight Dear!” (or any other nights if you have your way)
As the years go by, what was once sizzling passion between the sheets have a tendency to fizzle out when the stress of work and family commitments get the better of us.
Exhausted, it’s altogether easy to opt out of sexual intimacy which happens to play a big part in sustaining a healthy marriage. Before we know it, we’re opting out regularly. In the long run, don’t be surprise if your partner ends up feeling resentful and shuts down. Unfortunately when this happens, the spouse who feels neglected tend to cite sexual neglect to justify having an affair.
While there is never a good reason to cheat, a couple who tries to stay aware of their marriage every now and then will always seek to find ways to nurture the love and respect that got them hitched in the first place.
Be open to trying out other kinds of intimacy that can only serve to relax and de-stress if either you or your spouse are not feeling up to it.
Get lazy and offer to do a relaxing foot or massage on each other whilst lying down! Or get some aromatherapy going in the bedroom and use the remote to turn on some relaxing music.
Better still, bring up that sinfully, fattening chocolate cream dessert you’ve been saving and take turns feeding each other in bed. The idea is to aim for a pressure free bedroom environment while helping each other de-stress without any expectations whatsoever.
After all, isn’t love also about a little sacrifice? For all you know, with all the positive energy streaming, ‘not tonight dear’ could very well dissolve while red, hot passion sets in.
2. Letting Yourself Go (literally!)
Both genders debate on the maintenance of one’s pre-marriage looks and figure. Gripes from the female camp range from, “I work, take care of the kids and the house and he expects me to put on make-up and have my hair done? Some help would be nice!” to “He’s a fine one to talk, look at HIS waistline why isn’t he doing anything about that?!”.
While the male camp’s natural response ranges from, “Nothing wrong for a man to put on a few pounds here and there but it is definitely not a good look for a woman” to “I say there are no ugly women just lazy women.”
Now, we all got to agree that the laws of attraction is a two-way street. Looking and feeling good can do wonders for the self-esteem and not to say marriage.
Think of it this way, if you make an effort to reduce some of those fat-laden carbs, trade that 2 year old hairstyle for a new, sexier do (maybe throw in some highlights), and groom up for date night with your significant other, you will not only look good but you will feel good too!
With your confidence at an all time high, your happy endorphins gets released. Nothing like receiving complimentary wolf whistles and flirtatious looks your way to make him or her remember they’ve Always had a prize on their hands.
3. Tearing Your Spouse Down
Let’s face it. Nobody likes to be in the company of someone who always puts them down and make them feel useless. Not even if that someone is their spouse. If you are doing this, please stop.
Constant verbal and emotional abuse have a nasty way of alienating your spouse from you. When he or she feels like their presence does not matter to you and that you are bringing them down, you are basically priming them up for an affair.
All they need is someone of the opposite sex who sympathises, lends a listening ear and makes them feel wanted for your partner to take the final step towards infidelity.
Nobody is perfect even you. Take a step back and think back to what first attracted you to your spouse. Those very reasons may still be there only they are obscured when putting down your spouse becomes a bad habit.
Identifying and owning up to this bad habit is the first step towards mending your relationship with your spouse. Start appreciating each other again and embrace each other’s shortcomings. This will help to restore your spouse’s confidence in the relationship and that it is something worth staying faithful for.
By Hana Adam